February is here, and that means it is time for another EQ Strategy. The next three months, I will be focusing on Social Awareness. Social awareness is “a skill…use[d] to recognize and understand the moods of other individuals and entire groups of people,” (Emotional Intelligence 2.0). It allows you to look to others and recognize their emotions that they may not be vocally expressing. Facial expressions and body language are such a large part of communication; they can express our true feelings even if we don’t intend on them to do so.

February’s strategy is “Develop a Back Pocket Question.” My little card from TalentSmart says for this: “Write one question to ask when you’re not sure what someone is really feeling. It can be something like, “If you don’t mind me asking, how are you feeling about ________?”” This question is good to have just in case you need something “to bail you out of any awkward silence or uncomfortable moment” (Emotional Intelligence 2.0). Having the back pocket question will allow you to buy some time in a conversation and breathe some fresh air into whatever you’ve been discussing.

I chose this strategy because I am terrible at making small talk. I don’t listen to current music, nor do I pay attention to sports (apart from Six Nations Rugby; Go Ireland!). When you don’t go to the theatre often to see the current films or watch television, you don’t have a lot to discuss other than the weather (How about that 45 degrees? Can you believe the snow is melting, and about to freeze all over again?); and we all know how well it goes when someone brings up the weather. Now, after a lot of internal debate and searching, I have come up with my back pocket question.

You’re a burglar, but you only steal things to slightly inconvenience your victims. What are you stealing?

I think that is a pretty good question; it is not something I would ever expect to be asked. Now, I have not had the opportunity to bring it into conversation, but I am definitely planning on using it in the future. Seeing as how I have just started advising a new chapter, I am going to use this as an ice breaker when I have my first conference call with my Executive Committee and fellow advisor. It will give me a great way to break the ice, and also give me some insight into the young women I will be working with over this next year.

What’s your back pocket question? Do you have a “go-to” question? I’d love to hear what all your back pocket questions are!