When it comes to living free, you are your own biggest supporter. Now, in order to support yourself, you need to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. I have long known that one of my biggest weaknesses is public speaking and interacting with others (Introvert alert!). Over the past 5 years, I have been working to improve my public speaking skills; mainly getting over my fear of it. I turned to a trusted friend after I stood up in front of 400 sorority sisters at our Convention back in 2014 and completely froze as I tried to remember what I wanted to say about running for the Nominations Committee, and asked her how she was able to get up in front of that same group several times over the course of the weekend and speak. She first said she has a difficult time with it herself, which made me feel better, and she then suggested the Amy Cuddy book, “Presence,” as a way to start improving my skills.

While I have not yet mastered my public speaking skills, they are definitely improving, and I was able to speak up during the training this weekend, and actually did a little presentation to the group after one of our break-out sessions. I also consciously avoided sitting with my friends that attended this weekend. It is tough to get out of your comfort zone, but at these type of events, I go out of my way to be uncomfortable and meet new people. The best part? We all have something in common: we are members of the sorority, and we have been identified as emerging leaders in the organization.

Introverted, I know that I need downtime to recharge, and being a nursing mummy, I had a great excuse to zip away for a bit and pump in the solitude of my hotel room. I found myself a bit annoyed that I had to leave the group throughout the day in order to pump, and I realized that it was due to the fact that this group of women decided to be open and vulnerable with each other. Normally, I cherish being able to escape the loud and busy group I am with, but I just wanted to sit and connect on a deeper level with many of my fellow attendees.

By now, you’re probably asking, “What does all of this rambling have to do with Emotional Intelligence?” Why, it has everything to do with Emotional Intelligence. The fact that I know that I get drained easily in large groups and need alone time to recharge, that I don’t like meeting new people but still put myself into that uncomfortable situation to sit with women I don’t know, that I know my strengths and weaknesses, and want to improve on them; these are all signs of Self Awareness, one of the 4 areas of Emotional Intelligence (the others being Self Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management). When you truly know yourself, you are able to know just how far out of your comfort zone you can go before it becomes too much; you can recognize the signs that you are about to have a panic attack or explode in anger. You can turn that self-talk positive instead of negative. You can support yourself emotionally, which is just so gosh-darn important. If you do not believe in yourself, how can you expect others to do so?

Now, this event was not just a one-time deal. We will break into cohorts to meet over the coming months and check in on our emotional intelligence, and hopefully improve other leadership skills as well.

In addition to the cohort, we each have an accountability partner, or as I like to say, accountabilibuddies.

The accountabilibuddies will check in with each other, and hold each other accountable as we work through the 12 strategies we chose to focus on in the field of Emotional Intelligence. I am so incredibly lucky, and my partner is a very good friend who I don’t reach out to enough. Before we knew about the partners, we had already said we need to both make a conscious effort to talk more, and now we have a reason to do so. I know our calls will not be just about our EQ strategies, and I am ok with that. It will be good to build up the friendship we already have, and support each other as we grow.

Schedule some time for yourself this week to take a sit back and just check in with your emotions. How are you doing? Do you have moments where you feel like you are about to explode? Is there a trigger for that? Really dig down deep and explore your feelings. The more you know yourself, the more you can improve, and those improvements will help you as you walk the path to liberty with us.