It’s the time of year when more often than not it’s cold, incredibly cold, and snowy. The kids don’t get out as much as they used to. Energy builds. They don’t listen. Attention spans shrink. You just don’t know what to do some days. And NOTHING you do or say seems to work.

I’m not the only one, am I?

When it gets to be February, and the intense cold kicks in, things can seem downright miserable. When it warms up to a reasonable temperature to get out of the house, the kids can act like complete animals, having been cooped up for too long (even if it’s just ONE DAY that they didn’t get to go outside or leave the house). The pattern here recently seems to be extreme cold Tuesdays, so when we get to the library for storytime on Wednesday morning, ALL OF THE CHILDREN are running around like crazy. It’s almost as if they’ve never been out of the house. You can definitely tell that they were cooped up inside for a day (or two).

But how can we stop this? What happens when the cold and snow are for multiple days? When the kids have played with every toy? Made all of the messes (usually immediately after you had them clean it up). Pulled every blanket out of every room in order to “build a fort” after you just told them you don’t want them taken out (AGAIN).

We had two super cold days where I told the kids they could either build a fort or set up a tent. They decided they wanted to build a bunker with the fort-building kit they got for Christmas a few years ago. I helped build the bunker and the fighting started immediately “You’re not supposed to go in it that way!” “I put the sheet THERE to be the door, stop moving it!” “Don’t bring your toys over to this side!” As you can probably imagine, I gave them 5 minutes to figure things out, then went in and took the bunker down.

An hour later they were playing kindly together again and I was asked if they could set up our bigger tent. I popped downstairs, grabbed it, and we threw it out to pop up (it’s one of those super cool pop-up tents!). I didn’t mind because I wanted to inflate our two sleeping pads to see if they would fit inside (They don’t. I’ve got a double and a single sleeping pad. They do NOT fit side by side. Now I’m looking for a larger tent for us to use this summer when we go camping with Squatch.). This tent stayed up for about an hour before they started fighting over who got to sit where, what went where, etc.

At this point, it was lunch time and then time for Bug to take a nap. So while they ate, I brought and set up the one-person tent we’ve got. It needed to be aired out anyway, and this one actually managed to stay up until Squatch got home later in the afternoon. I don’t know if it was the small size, the fact that I wouldn’t let them shut the door flaps, or what…But they managed to play quietly with it, and Bug even asked me if he could “go night-night” inside (we tried and he wouldn’t go to sleep).

The thing is…The boys know that on these super cold days (like today, where it’s currently -16F) they get to have a fort day. They don’t make it with chairs and blankets (because those get ripped apart almost as soon as they’re built and it leads to fighting and crying), but they get to choose a tent. The tent keeps them warmer than just playing in the living room. And it becomes and adventure! We’ll sit in the tent and read the library books we’ve gotten that week, plan adventures, and just enjoy each other.

We’ve made it fun. But there are still points in the day where I question my sanity. I question my decision to stay at home with my children. I wonder if I should have just enrolled Mr Man in the local school system, (our Catholic school is full for his grade, and it’s not looking like they’ll be losing students any time soon). I consider going back to work full-time. I’d have my “me-time” on my drive to and from work. I’d get away from the boys. They’d get used to NOT being with me 24/7.

And then I feel like a failure. That I’d be failing my children by sending them away…sending them to be educated and raised by someone else. That’s NOT what I signed up for when I became a mom. I decided to devote my life to my children. To raise them in the home. To be their primary caretaker and educator.

Then the guilt creeps in. “We could afford to do more activities. Mr Man could have the toys and games he’s always asking for. We could go to (somewhere super fun!)…” But what would our relationships look like? Would the stress really be gone? I don’t think so.

There is something to be said about staying at home with your kids. Back in 2020, I had several friends ask me “How can you do this every day? It’s so tough being home with my kid(s).” And my answer was always “I love what I do. I wouldn’t trade this for the world. Yes, it’s hard. Oh my WORD is it difficult to be home with my boys every day. But then I look at them; see how well they do play with each other; how much they truly love each other…And I know I’ve made the right choice.”