Oh man, you guys. It has been a busy few weeks here.
So, there was no blog post last week because we had the first few family members come into town for a week of memorials to those we lost last winter. With all of the COVID crap going on, we never got a chance to come together and say our goodbyes. Well, let me tell you, we definitely did that and more this past week.
Squatch was amazing and drove down for a long weekend to help support me and my family. Let me tell you, he was not sure what to expect at this event. To be fair, I did warn him several times that my family has a very different relationship with death than most.
My cousin G was the first to arrive, Saturday morning, and I had this image of him pulling up in a sports car, his dad’s ashes buckled into the passenger seat. I wasn’t far off – he got a black Mustang convertible. The ashes were in a navy blue velvet bag in the trunk, so not the front seat. But we put my uncle on the fireplace mantel, and he spent a few days hanging out there as we toasted to him and told our favourite stories. Monday, we headed back to the burbs where my Aunt and Uncle from NH arrived in their new RV, and Cousin K and her bf flew in from California. K’s son had flown in Saturday as well, and he spent the weekend in the burbs with my youngest brother. When we pulled into the driveway, the garage was open, a table set up, and everyone was sitting there, Crave Case of White Castles open, and they were sharing their stories about my uncle. That night, my NH Uncle pulled out his guitar and played a few songs, and then I unearthed my oboe and started to remember why I loved it so much. Little Man was adorable, and “played” the handle of the fly swatter, humming to himself as he sat next to me or walked around the garage. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen.
Tuesday morning, we were once again gathered in the garage, and Cousin G pulled in, top of the Mustang down, Uncle’s ashes on the passenger seat. He hopped out, holding the bag, and said “He’s arrived!” He again got pride of place on the mantel in the family room, and we all settled in and started to prepare ourselves for the memorial the following day. Now, Squatch worked a half day and then drove down, getting in around midnight, so when Little Man woke the next morning, it was a huge surprise to see Daddy! I had Little Man in a shorts & suspenders outfit, complete with bow tie, knee socks, and oxfords; he made the cutest little guy! At the church, which our family has been going to for close to 80 years, he finally got to meet his cousin, B, and they kept hugging, and running after each other. The best picture I had that morning was of the two of them walking up the aisle into the church, holding hands.
The vestibule of the church filled up quickly as the family arrived; this was the first major death in the family since Gramma almost 14 years ago. And the last time we had mostly been together was when we had our open house after our wedding 5 years ago. Memories were brought back to all of us as we walked in; I could see Gramma leading us up to the third pew on the right all those Sunday mornings, Uncle Junie saying mass on the altar, the organ sounding its notes throughout the space, and the colours of the stained glass as the morning sun rose.
During the service, we cried, a lot, and we laughed during the eulogies. Once it was over, we all walked out, tears and laughter in our eyes, as we headed to the cemetery. This is how it is done in our family. We grieve the loss, celebrate the memories, and strive to create new ones. My uncle may be gone from this earth, but he is forever in our hearts, and he will never be forgotten. The best part is, the party didn’t stop after the luncheon. Everyone from out of town headed up to the lake Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning. And we continued the celebration of my uncle’s life up here. It turned into a little family reunion, which is just fine with all of us. The only downside is wishing everyone could have stayed together longer.
Little Man had a tough Saturday – Daddy left that morning, and his “best friend B” had to go that afternoon to head back to California. Oh my goodness, the tears and meltdown Little Man had as B was buckled into the car and leaving. He was completely heartbroken (and he wanted to take back one of the little toys he gave to his cousin), and inconsolable for a brief time.
But now, it’s Monday night. Cousin G, his brother, and mother head back to the burbs tomorrow to prepare to fly back to California. NH Aunt & Uncle are here through the end of the week, so we get time with them. And we’re feeling the loss of the connections we refueled this past week. Phone numbers and email addresses were shared between those who didn’t have them, promises to visit next summer (or later this summer) were made, and we are all going our separate ways.
It’s left me with a lot to think about. I have really enjoyed this time with my family. It sucks that we are all so spread apart. And Squatch and I were chatting before he left about our housing plans. He just got promoted to 3d Shift Supervisor (WOOO!!! And only about a month after being promoted to 2d Shift Lead!). Last fall, we talked about maybe moving down towards Madison or LaCrosse, to be more central to all our family. But now, we are thinking we want to be in the tri-state area.
So, our new plan is to find something, anything, to rent for the next year. In January/February, we will start looking for homes near Dubuque or Platteville, or even Davenport (his company has a location there), and Squatch will look for either an opportunity to transfer, or he will find a new job. This will put us much closer to the lake, which we both adore, and our family in the Chicago burbs, without actually being back in Illinois. So, who knows how this will all work out, but I think we’ve got a solid plan, and now we are preparing to act on it. Squatch will be back down this weekend, for the 4th of July, and next week we will turn our sights to rentals. I can’t wait to be reunited with him, and to get this next chapter of our lives together heading in the right direction.
Ok, I spent A LOT of time in the kitchen this past week, but I truly have ZERO idea of just what I made. I just made a lot of food to feed everyone!
Friday’s lunch was fun and easy though: 3 loaves of French bread, sliced longway. Each loaf got 1/3 American, 1/3 Swiss, and 1/3 Provolone cheese. One loaf was Ham, one was Roast Beef, and the third was Turkey. Each was sliced into 12 pieces. Then, I put the sandwiches into catering trays; one for Provolone cheese, one for Swiss, and one for American. I tossed Mustard, Mayonnaise, and Pickles into a cooler, and filled a bag with assorted chips. It was all sent on to the boat for everyone to snack on. If you’ve got a large group of people to feed, this is quick, easy, and low-budget!
The garden is really looking good. I didn’t’ take any pictures of the big one in the yard, but Oh My Goodness is everything growing well. My container garden on the porch is looking great, except for the Chamomile. I know the chipmunks have been digging in it, but it has also been just so dang hot and humid, the poor plants are all wilted. I’ve moved the pot off the ground and up to be more in the shade, so hopefully the plant will spring back. And, I found my first baby cucumber! A further inspection resulted in several more itty bitty vegetables starting to grow. It is so dang exciting!!!
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Thoughts From The Loo 
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