When someone says the word, “Jump,” where does your brain go? Today, while checking on the Living Free in Tennessee MeWe chat, Nicole Sauce told us that she was sick and was not going to release a podcast; she told us all to record voice messages to each other and leave them in the chat. I thought for a second, and asked “‘Jump’ as in jumping feet first into what you’re doing? Or what you want to do?” Nicole said she would let us all decide, since we are the ones recording the podcast today. Well, my thoughts on the topic are below.

When I was young, I loved to jump. I would climb up into a tree and jump down, getting progressively higher until I realized that the height would cause a broken limb. I loved to play the “lava” game, and jump from chair to couch to table; avoiding the floor that was the lava. We had a series of creeks in our town, and my friends and I loved to jump across them, sometimes tying a rope on a tree branch overhead to help us in the wider spots as we would run and jump, swinging across.

Jumping was fun…until I was told to jump off the platforms at the pool. Seeing the height of the platform, and the long drop into the pool, I felt fear. I was scared of how long it seemed everyone to take to reach the water. I was scared of how high it was, and how all that concrete below would hurt if I fell off the ladder. What if I slipped on the wet concrete at the edge of the platform and just fell into the water? What if I ended up belly flopping? So many questions flooded my mind, and I found myself paralyzed…from both fear and the analysis of it all.

I’ve never gotten over that fear or the analysis paralysis. I still find myself standing on the edge, or even at the base of the ladder, afraid to climb up and make the jump. Last fall, I decided I was ready to jump. I created my website, found the course I wanted to take, and…I got up to the platform. I never took that running leap. I didn’t just hop off the edge. I froze. What was keeping me from going forward? ME. I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t believe that I was good enough. I didn’t believe that I could do it and be successful. Well, you know what? I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of thinking I’m not good enough. Will I succeed or fail? That is completely up to me.

I’m now at the edge of that highest platform, and I’m jumping. And I’m going feet first. This is no swan dive, this is a full force, running jump. And I’m making a HUGE splash.