I have always been intrigued by the statement “It takes a village to raise a child.” Before I had Little Man, I would hear people say this, and wonder “What is wrong with your parenting that you cannot raise your child on your own?” I often wondered what the meaning behind the phrase was. 16 months after having Little Man, I realise that it is a true statement – you cannot raise a child on your own.

Now, give me a minute to explain here. I don’t mean that in a way against single parents; they are awesome rockstars! I mean that you cannot just live in your own little bubble and raise a child. There are so many outside influences we do not think about that affect the way we rear our kids, and they have a direct impact on the kids themselves.

Think of it like a series of rings, or the sun and the planets. Those closest rings have the most impact and spend the most time with the child, while the outer rings have the occasional interaction. In the center is the child – everything revolves around him or her. The first ring is the parents, and for later children, siblings. Then you move into aunts, uncles, and grandparents. They can move between rings, depending on how close you are (physically and emotionally). Close family friends come next, followed by others you see regularly – fellow parishioners and the priest, librarians, other friends. The rings continue to expand out, including teachers, coaches, heck, even the garbage man!

When you truly think about it, your child has many people influencing his or her behaviour and the way you personally raise him/her. How many of you have heard that your child is a complete angel for others, but when you are alone with him, he is a complete and utter monster? Someone once told me that this is because your child knows you are his safe place, and he is free to explore his emotions and test his comfort levels when you are there, knowing you will bring him back to center when he needs it.

There are also so many resources out there for parents nowadays, and not just your local mom group on Facebook (I’m in several of these, and they can be so judgy!). I mentioned librarians earlier – we have a great librarian at the county library who runs the baby, toddler, and pre-school storytimes each week. She interacts one-on-one with each child for a few minutes during playtime, getting down to their level and getting to know them. It has been amazing these past few weeks to see Little Man blossom in her presence – from a somewhat shy little guy when we first showed up, to running up to her yesterday morning to “give her ‘knucks’” as soon as he saw she was in the room. Her storytimes give little ones the chance to hear some stories, which is so amazingly great for their growth, but also to play and interact with their newfound friends. The next town over has their storytime on Fridays, so Little Man and I are going to investigate it tomorrow, and see how he gets on with that group.

When I had Little Man, I was told about the programs the hospital offers for new parents, including a new-mom meet-up weekly at a local church. I did not utilise this group, but that is ok, I had plenty of other assistance. I found a group that focused on baby-wearing, and went to a few meetings to learn more about the proper way to wear him in the ring sling and Ergo carriers I have. There was a breast-feeding support group that has brought a wealth of knowledge and given me hope when it has not been easy (I know I mentioned his biting issues last month; they helped me through a lot that week). I found a Summer 2018 Babies group, where all our littles are born within the same 3 months, and we have helped plan 1st birthday parties, shared hilarious stories of what our babes have gotten into, and just been a great place to help each other out, as we are all at the same place in our journeys.

What village do you have to help raise your children? Do you need a village? I guarantee you, it’s there. You just need to step back and look with a clear set of eyes.