I mentioned how I now have an accountabilibuddy, stemming from my emotional intelligence leadership workshop. We are helping each other work on our EQ, and are focusing these first 3 months on Relationship Management. To start out, we are both working on the same strategy (from Emotional Intelligence 2.0, by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves): Only get mad on purpose. For each of the 4 areas of emotional intelligence, we have one strategy that is the same, and two that are different.

As I sat down to read up on this strategy, the chapter started out with a quote by Aristotle:

Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way, this is not easy. – Aristotle

I quickly finished the section on this strategy and then went back to the quote. Man, that Aristotle really knew what he was talking about. It is so simple to get angry, to let your thoughts simmer and stew, and to just let loose at the wrong person for no apparent reason. How many times have I not spoken up about something that bothered me, and I then turned inward, letting the negative thoughts and feelings brew, until someone (who has nothing to do with the initial issue) does something small and insignificant, and I just erupted, letting all of my feelings out on them? I have done it several times, and each time, I remember immediately realizing what I had done, regretting my actions and my words that were like daggers to that unsuspecting person.

I have gotten better, and realize more of my triggers now, as a result of these past incidents. I am not perfect, but I can keep on working towards having a better hold on my emotions. This relationship management strategy is so important, because let’s face it, life is not all sunshine and daisies. Life is a complete and utter bitch at times, and it can seem as if the entire world is raining down her problems on you. If you don’t let someone know what is wrong, that they are not meeting your standards, that you just do not agree with their decisions, you are going to be that volcano erupting. Even if it is something small, and it seems insignificant, let that individual know that you are upset, that you do not agree. Do not let those feelings and self-talk fester until it is too late and you could irreparably damage the relationship.

This is my project for the month of August – being intentionally angry, letting others know how I’m feeling. If I cannot do it now, how can I expect to do it down the road, or in a SHTF situation?